It is a bad sign if the person you are thinking of marrying does not have good friends (including of long duration) of the same sex. This alone should rule out the person from consideration. It should go without saying that if the person is not kind to you, quit while you can. Yes, men are better at being distracted by work, sports, computer games, the opposite sex, and God knows what else, but it is not a good sign if you rarely miss her when not together. Having written a best-selling book on happiness and lectured on the subject on all seven continents, I am tempted write a book-length book explanation of just this question.A woman who cannot hold female friends and a man who cannot hold male friends have issues that will probably sink your marriage. But it is far from sufficient that the person you are considering marrying treats you kindly. And what inner voice of doubt, if any, are you suppressing? As for women, if you don’t miss him, it is probably a really bad sign. Suffice it to say that the importance of marrying an essentially happy person cannot be exaggerated.There’s just something about watching a sea of couples descend upon local restaurants, bars and bistros for a romantic experience together that makes you pause and wonder, “Are they happy? Gaining insight into your own opinions and personal choices can only help foster clarity within the relationship.
It is imperative that you be ruthlessly honest with yourself. Nothing in life is easier than denying problems when you are in love. It may be normal for couples to fight (though the ratio of loving moments to fights must be high to sustain a loving relationship). And perhaps most important, do you fight over the same issue(s) with no resolution? The best way to ascertain the answer is to take a month off from all sexual contact and see how much you then enjoy each other. What do people you respect think of the person you’re considering marrying?Even for men it is common to find a woman physically attractive over time.In my late 20s, I directed a summer institute for men and women ages 19-25.After the first two summers, I began to play a game with myself.On the first night of the session, I made a mental note of which women I thought the most attractive and compared that list to one I made after the four weeks.