But however you got here, the question now is where do you go from here?And how do you figure out who you are and what you want as a newly single person? You've signed the divorce papers, and the relationship you entered with so much hope is officially dissolved. Maybe you had been married for decades, maybe just a year or so. Maybe the divorce was your idea and maybe it was your partner's, or maybe you both agreed that separation was best.Maybe you're relieved, maybe you're heartbroken -- or a bit of both.What is your new life going to look like, and how do you start moving in that direction?Here are eight of the first steps: Nobody gets married thinking, "I sure hope we can get divorced someday!
For Michaels, her support network while surviving divorce initially consisted of one good friend.Wood, devastated by not seeing his children on a daily basis, threw himself into starting and cultivating a community garden. "You're dealing with a lot of grief and personal feelings.But always avoid criticizing the other parent in front of the children," says Jennipher Cole, LPC-S, a marriage and family therapist with the De Pelchin Children's Center in Houston.Sixteen years and three children into her marriage, Nancy Michaels' husband dealt her the blow of a lifetime.Out of the blue, he told her he wanted a divorce -- but he wouldn't tell her or their kids why he was leaving.